Speak Up or Get Ran Over: The Survival Guide

Life isn’t meant to be lived on the sidelines. If you’re constantly watering down your opinions, you’re letting everyone else take control of your path. It’s like handing the steering wheel of your life to a blindfolded toddler. Sure, it might be amusing for a moment, but sooner or later, you’re going to end up in a ditch. Speaking up isn’t just a skill—it’s a survival strategy. It’s the key to reclaiming your time, your energy, and your self-respect. So, let’s get into it before you become permanently flattened by the steamroller of life.

Let’s address the world’s most common lie: “I’m fine.”

Babe, no, you’re not. You’re annoyed because Karen from accounting keeps taking credit for your ideas. You’re frustrated because your best friend is three hours late—again. And yet, you plaster on a smile and say it’s cool. Spoiler alert: It’s not cool.

When you don’t speak up, you’re basically putting up a neon sign that says, “Walk all over me, I’m a human doormat.” And guess what? People will oblige. The Karens of the world thrive on silence. They love an easy target. If you don’t set boundaries, others will set them for you—often in ways that serve them, not you.

Let’s be real: Speaking up is scary. What if people don’t like what you have to say? What if they call you "difficult" or “dramatic”? Oh no, the horror of being labeled dramatic when you’re rightfully upset that someone ate your leftovers. But here’s the thing—staying quiet doesn’t make you less dramatic; it just makes you silently resentful.

Also, let’s not forget that society has trained many of us—especially women—to be agreeable, to keep it cute, to avoid confrontation at all costs. Heaven forbid you be called “aggressive” or “confrontational.” But you know what’s worse than being confrontational? Developing a stress-induced stomach ulcer because you’ve been swallowing your feelings for the last decade.

Here’s what happens when you don’t speak up:

• You’re miserable, and everyone else is blissfully unaware.

  
  

• Your boss thinks you love staying late because you’ve never said otherwise.

  
  

• Your friend assumes you’re fine splitting the check—even though they ordered a filet mignon while you had a side salad.

  
  

Your partner believes you’re totally okay with their last-minute plan changes because you always say, “It’s fine” (when it is, in fact, not fine).

Meanwhile, the people who do speak up? They’re out here living their best lives. They’re setting boundaries, getting promotions, and—most importantly—eating their own damn leftovers. Sure, they ruffle a few feathers along the way, but they’re not spending their days simmering in unspoken frustration. They’re free.

Now, I’m not saying you should flip tables and start yelling, “Respect me!” (in my Khia voice) every time someone steps on your toes (though the mental image is iconic). Speaking up doesn’t have to be a dramatic act. It’s about finding your voice and using it effectively. Here’s how:

1. Start small. If you’re not used to advocating for yourself, don’t begin by challenging your boss about a pay gap. Practice in low-stakes situations. Say, “Actually, I’d prefer sushi tonight” when your friends suggest pizza. Build your confidence muscle.

   
   

2. Use “I” statements. People are less defensive when you frame things around your feelings. Instead of saying, “You’re always late,” try, “I feel frustrated when I’m kept waiting.” Same message, but without the fight-triggering vibes.

   
   

3. Stay calm. If you’re upset, take a beat. Speaking up doesn’t mean losing your cool. Keep it classy, not chaotic.

   
   

4. Be clear and direct. Don’t beat around the bush. If your coworker keeps interrupting you in meetings, don’t hint at it—just say, “I’d like to finish my thought before we move on.” Boom. Problem addressed.

   
   

5. Follow through. Setting boundaries is great, but they mean nothing if you don’t enforce them. If someone crosses the line, call it out. Otherwise, you’re just giving people permission to keep disrespecting you.

   
   

Here’s the magic of speaking up: Once you start, you’ll wonder why you ever stayed quiet. People will respect you more—even if they’re annoyed at first—and, more importantly, you’ll respect yourself more. It’s a win-win.

And let’s talk about the glow-up effect on your relationships. When you’re honest about your feelings, you give people a chance to step up and be better. Sure, some won’t—but do you really want those people in your life anyway? Speaking up is the ultimate vibe check.

Life’s too short to keep quiet. Speak your truth, set your boundaries, and watch how the world shifts around you. Will some people get mad? Probably. Will you care? Not after you realize how much better it feels to own your voice.

Remember: If you don’t speak up, you’ll get run over. And honestly, babe, you deserve better than being life’s speed bump. So, take a deep breath, channel your inner icon, and start talking. The world is waiting to hear from you.

Now go reclaim your damn power.